Awkward

There are questions sitting
On the tip of my tongue
Threatening to jump
Without warning
I move to the sound
Of my inner dialogue
And figure it's just a dream
Bound to break into my day
I slot times so happiness
Ceases to erode
But I'm so tired
Of effortless desires
My will be damned
For making my words abrasive
Selfish needs dominate
Turning my sensuality invasive
The resulting hollow echoes
Thoughts I will never speak
Into existence
Twisting the wool of vacancy
So I might wear my heart
In threaded bulk
How ugly and green
A dirty, barren soul
Swamped in ravenous envy
I continue to apologize
To keep my self worth low
And the questions continue to chew
At what I admire of you
Stunting my delicate growth