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I Fake It So WellI Fake It So Well
The things I hate about me
Are all the things that people can't see.
'Oh!' They say, 'What pretty eyes!'
Don't they know I'm empty inside?
'Grow your hair! It was so lovely long!'
Living up to everyone's standards just feels wrong.
'We only judge you by what's on the outside
We don't care what you hide.'
'So long as you live up to our codes
So long as it's the photogenic side you show.'
Don't take me wrong, the compliments make me smile
Reassures me that I hide well what within has been defiled.
'Look! Again, your freckles are cute!'
Does it matter that my heart is destitute?
Nod and laugh at my hilarious jokes
Forget about my rotting yolk.
If I get a little skinnier do you think I'd be beautiful then?
How about the way I suck in my abdomen?
How about we fuck until my hips shatter.
Maybe that will stop this pesky chatter
Clicking about inside my brain
Telling me to accept your chains.
On and on, your voices carry the heat
Of your vanity and acrid deceit.
The Greedy OneThe Greedy One
I've ripped and torn you up.
Don't you see the damage I inflict?
Where eternal devotion should be swimming
Is nothing more than a severe deficit.
What I owe you, what is due?
I won't let you take it, it belongs to me,
And I refuse to give it away.
Don't make me burn you with my third degree.
Keep asking me what it means
And I'll still have no answers to give.
Torture yourself wondering
How you'll live.
So you'll never let me go?
You cling to me until you suck me away.
Already I'm hollowing out
How long will you make me pay?
DOA from our hearts to our souls.
Lift me, drop me, shatter me to bits.
Kick through my mountain of ashes.
Toss about your insults, call me heartless.
Stop searching my eyes, they're empty.
The abysmal result of what we've done.
Telling one another how we could be,
But you know I'm not the one.
Still, you won't admit it.
You've sliced me pretty deep.
Those hooks in my chest
Make me lose sleep.
I don't have the strength
To keep telling yo
Content With Nothing, I Am NotContent With Nothing, I Am Not
Angela Malzow 2013
I've broken into your mind.
Yes, it was me this time.
No worries, we're not behind
On the contract we signed.
My peg leg needs a good wind
So I can totter on to find
A way for us to bind.
The malignant charade
Of our midnight parade
Has erased the scarlet shade
Of our passions, which fade.
Of all the farewells bade,
To heartache we've been enslaved
By the temptations we evade.
Will you let me see the side,
that you are always trying to hide?
All the things upon which we divide
Our malefic intents from our rotting insides?
No, really, I know we've tried
To make the best of this game of spies and the spied.
Among the dense garbage of the aftermath we preside.
Take into yours my clammy flesh
And hesitate not to infest
The very core of my chest.
That you and I should mesh
Into the solitude of a single caress.
Stomp and smash your heels upon the pests
Who are shackled by their ideals so repressed.
We chide and abide by our ideals
Afraid to e
Angela Malzow 2013
In every face I see my soul mate.
It haunts me, the imagery of their potential,
so much so that I wish, from them, to take
what I deem for me is existential.
Thousands of different people screaming by
and I find myself in awe of their imperfections.
Why can't I breathe? Air is suddenly lacking in supply.
I've been sucked into their mock reflections.
The curtains of my eyes slip shut and my dreams dance upon their hides.
These visions of all the possible ways to express
How those overwhelming revelations violently collide.
Their faces, their lives, their actions which allow me little rest.
Every time I hear that song it reminds me of that time he cried,
And every time I smile because of a certain memory we share.
Despite all the darkness around you, rest assured I'd never deride
You in any way. You, who I feel so close and far, and never spared.
Connections to be made with those I'll never meet.
Sweep me up in your world of nothing please?
The worlds where w
SolaceShe never slept well in the dark,
not without the children of the sun and moon
to guide her weary lids home.
Guided by the aftermath, she was always two steps behind.
What did the world look like to the girl who had been through it all?
Braved the heaviest of storms,
yet skipping over cracks in the pavement.
They said her eyes were the wisps of clouds before the storm.
To him they were reflections of pages overlooked.
She said it was like she lived the life of someone she had never met.
Laid out to dry, yesterdays news.
He knew her as the girl who was built to never collapse.
He wished he was too.
He loved her more than words could say, and yet her pain was such,
that at times, he feared she wouldn’t make it.
But on nights like these, even when it threatened to consume her,
he became convinced that somehow she would.
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